Dating after divorce can be a daunting prospect. For many, it feels like starting all over again from scratch. And for those who have been married for a long time, the dating scene may be completely unfamiliar territory. But with the right approach, it’s possible to find love again and create a new and lasting relationship.
Here are some tips on dating after divorce that will help you to get through the process as quickly and painlessly as possible.
1. Point Out Your Own Achievements First
If you’re feeling insecure about your looks, dress, or money, those insecurities will be picked up by others who may not feel comfortable dating a ‘loser.’
Point out the positives first and spend time talking about yourself before asking another person questions about themselves.
This is better for both of you; because everyone likes having their ego stroked, and it’s also flattering for people to show an interest in them.
2. Don’t Rush into Anything
Don’t immediately start jumping from date to date just because you’re anxious to find somebody new — take your time.
You’ll be able to weed out the people who aren’t right for you more easily if you spend time with just one person at a time.
3. Beware of Quick Fixes
Don’t get involved in anything that feels like ‘a quick fix’ — it’s likely to be exactly that and will leave you feeling relieved rather than satisfied.
If someone is being pushy or making promises they can’t keep, walk away from the relationship before it gets too serious.
4. Be Honest
It’s important to be honest about your past mistakes and how you have learned from them. If a potential partner says they want to take it slow, don’t try to force a commitment before they feel ready for it.
This kind of dishonesty will come back to haunt you later on when the truth comes out, so if you’re really looking for somebody special, it’s better to be straight from the start.
5. Know What You Want
If you don’t know what kind of person is right for you, think about why things didn’t work out with your last partner — this might give you some clues as to what you should avoid next time around.
Write down everything that is important to you in a relationship; good looks, common interests, sexual compatibility, and so on. This will help you to choose between all the fish in the sea (which is harder than it sounds!)
6. Look for Dating Services
There are many elite dating services that will help you to find a partner who meets your criteria, whether it’s somebody wealthy or from a specific cultural background.
If you’re confident that you already know what you want, this can be a quick and painless way to find somebody really special.
7. Let Yourself Be Happy Again
After going through a divorce, it may feel like there will never be another happy day in your life — but this is not true!
Take some time to think about the things you used to love doing before your marriage and make a list of all the ways your life could turn around for the better.
It might take a little while to get there, but other people will follow suit once you’re happy with yourself.
8. Seek Professional Help
If you’re finding it hard to get back into the dating scene again, there are plenty of counselors who can help you develop a new approach to relationships and show you how to be happy with yourself.
They will also encourage you not to move on too quickly from the past if that is not what’s going to make you happy in the long term. With their assistance, dating after divorce is no longer scary!
9. Accept That Failure Is Part of the Process
You will probably make many mistakes along the way, sometimes with disastrous consequences — but that’s how you learn. The more mistakes you make, the better your chances of meeting somebody truly right for you.
Don’t be afraid to take a risk or two — even if it doesn’t work out, at least you will have learned something from experience.
Dating after divorce can be a daunting experience, but it can also be fun and exciting with the right tips. By being honest with yourself and others, knowing what you want, and taking things slow, you’ll increase your chances of finding somebody special.
If things don’t work out the first time around, don’t worry — there are plenty more fish in the sea! Seeking professional help can also make the process easier and less intimidating.